What goes down, must come up
While it may not be a law of physics, I am learning that even when times are hard as they were in December, things will turn around and I will come up from the depths of grief at some point. I am happy to report that the heaviness of the holidays seemed to lift once we got into the new year and the holiday decorations were packed away. I’m sure it also helps that tomorrow I will depart on a one in a lifetime trip that I’ve been looking forward to for almost a year. This past Wednesday, we crossed the one year mark since Obie’s passing. Everyone says “just make it through the first year” and to be honest, I don’t know that I feel any differently but at least there won’t be any more annual firsts without him. It probably helped that I was in DC that day with my consulting client.
While the first anniversary felt a bit anticlimactic, I do not take for granted the feat of surviving the last year. There was a couple that had worked at PNNL for a very long time, I never worked closely with them but given our long tenures, we know of each other and our paths crossed from time to time. The wife passed away last spring from breast cancer, she was five years younger than I am. We were shocked to hear that her husband passed away on New Year’s Day, one of my friends commenting that they had seen him out running this last fall. The general sentiment was of shock and heartache, but there was a voice in my head that said “good for them”. They are together again. I cannot recall a point in the last year where I lost my will to live and I credit my amazing family and friends who have surrounded me with love and support. I don’t take that for granted and my hope is to return that support moving forward. I feel ready to move on from an identify so profoundly defined by grief and loss. This last year has shaped me unlike any other, time to continue to learn and grow and look to the future.
I cannot think of a better transition between the past year and the future than with a trip to Kauai. We have been going to Kauai every few years for at least the last decade. This next week, I will be joined by 22 of our closest friends in one of our favorite places. We will have a happy hour at Obie’s favorite bar where we’ll order a plate of 25 cent wings in his honor. (I detest wings so will be looking to everyone else to eat them!) On the 21st, we will board a charter cruise where we’ll spread his ashes at sunset off the coast of Poipu. This will in fact be a 3 hour tour and our group strikingly resembles the cast from Gilligan’s Island, so hopefully everything goes smoothly. The following day, we’ll play a round of golf at his favorite local course. The cruise was the first celebration that I made arrangements for after his death and it feels right that it will close out the year of honoring him. I will stay a second week with our friends who we always travel with to Kauai. We’ve been so many times that we don’t feel the need to run around the island trying to jam everything in. We’ll visit the botanical gardens, hit my favorite farmer’s market and take lots of walks. I’m looking forward to seeing my favorite places, eating my favorite foods and soaking up the beauty of the island. And resting up for the last leg of my trip…
On Feburary 2, I will fly from Kauai to Honolulu where I’ll start the long haul to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. My friend’s daughter was married last fall to a young man whose family lives in Vietnam. They invited anyone who wanted to attend to their Vietnam wedding. The timing worked out perfectly with Kauai so I jumped at the opportunity. Over the course of 9 days, we’ll see the big city, a smaller city near his family’s home and the village where they live. We will finish our time at an island beach resort. I know that I will wish that I had more time so I’ll use this as a planning trip for future (longer) trips to Asia. I’ll be posting pictures from the trip on my Instagram account (@huskygirl67) if you want to follow along.
Given the heaviness of my last blog, I wanted to provide a quick update. Life is good and I am thankful. I hope that you are all enjoying the new year, I’m looking forward to seeing as many of you as I can in 2026!